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Conformateur

by Prairie Rehab

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1.
Maybe I’m not that strong Maybe I want you, too Have I given far too much away? On the verge of a complete collapse I let the rashness of the wine betray What I’d tried to keep so quietly under wraps Maybe I’m not that strong Maybe I want you, too Pushed it away so long But now that it’s showing through Maybe I’m not that strong One of us has to be ‘Cause there’s no turning ‘round And no kind of guarantee So, the veil is gone, it’s plain to see Every urge at which you might take aim Wired to want what we know could never be It’s tempting: a child reaching for flame Maybe I’m not that strong Maybe I want you, too Pushed it away so long But now that it’s showing through Maybe I’m not that strong One of us has to be ‘Cause there’s no turning ‘round And no kind of guarantee Tension without resolution Impulses coexist With strains of vigilance: It’s almost easy to resist One more glass, another furtive glance One more turn into an empty street Alternate avenues of choice and chance And alleyways from which there’s no retreat Maybe I’m not that strong Maybe I want you, too Pushed it away so long But now that it’s showing through Maybe I’m not that strong One of us has to be ‘Cause there’s no turning ‘round And no kind of guarantee
2.
My affection is best confined To the scope of my own mind Hid down where you cannot see Firmly fixed in surreality I’d be staid, I’d be self-restrained And terribly well-behaved Circumspective, sure and steady But the moon is awfully heady And temperance never meant that much to me Don’t know when to let up, but I know what I’m feeling Are you feeling me? I like the way you lend a hand And sighingly condescend How you seem just to let it slide When I’m painfully undignified But surely you must know You can tell me exactly where to go When I’m sunk and my money’s spent And I’m growing too dependent ‘Cause temperance never meant that much to me Don’t know when to let up, but I know what I’m feeling Are you feeling me? Did I make it plain? And did you learn your lesson? You want a little rain: You’ll get a tropical depression ‘Cause temperance never meant that much to me Don’t know when to let up, but I know what I’m feeling-- Temperance never meant that much to me Don’t know when to let up, but I know what I’m feeling Are you feeling me? Are you feeling me?
3.
There, There 03:46
When did I last feel so much like a child? You smiled so pitifully down on me I stood with my hands at my side Tongue-tied, but I am all-right, really – I’m all-right, really Give it a minute, you’ll know everything: Every passion, every pang Each senseless impetus On which my troubles hang I’m not a man to be reasoned with Just a thin-skinned simpleton A clumsy little kid Who’s fallen down again When did I last feel so much like a child? You smiled so pitifully down on me I stood with my hands at my side Tongue-tied, but I am all-right, really – I’m all-right, really If there are astral rhapsodies Fruit on the tress, surely I could be happy If there are those who’d please me Why am I not pleased? Why am I so uneasy? Kindly creditors I can’t repay Bright visitors of my dismay Dotingly stroke my hair, saying “There, there: things are not so bad, are they?” “There, there: things are not so bad, are they?” When did I last feel so much like a child? You smiled so pitifully down on me I stood with my hands at my side Tongue-tied, but I am all-right, really Tongue-tied, but I am all-right, really – I’m all-right, really
4.
Glitch 03:01
A mix of intricate quandaries and little quirks A vicious glitch in your system, a wrench in your works Never mind what I say when I’m tired Every drowsy overture Never mind how I’ve conspired To draw you closer I’ve been debating the virtues of humanness But just how human you’ve been, well, I couldn’t guess ‘Cause there really isn’t very much I could possibly surmise In examining the depths of such Inscrutable eyes Put on your brave face, do what you must do I tell myself, People trust you, they trust you to He and his Gideon Bible are bound to find Themselves left holding the bags in a terrible bind I’ve been stealing out and slipping through I’ve been feeling like a fake Strangled by the pangs that grip me When I lie awake Put on your brave face, do what you must do I tell myself, People trust you, they trust you to Never mind that I’m a nervous wreck Every word I can’t convey Never mind how I suspect You’re growing farther (farther, farther) away
5.
For the gentleman with everything What can you bring? A telephone dialer? A cracker jack ring? He’ll merely scoff When the sheen’s worn off And it’s already vanishing For the gentleman with everything Wait at the door It’s easier if you’ll simply ignore The blithely bright Second-floor light The way you feel desperately poor I don’t know what I said But I know what I meant And if you resent it I’ll gladly repent of it For the gentleman with everything Please be discreet Don’t sit so still at his feet: A docible stray To frighten away Then coax back so sweetly I don’t know what I said But I know what I meant And if you resent it I’ll gladly repent of it
6.
So, you don’t want to hurt anyone? As if that does any good As if skirting the question makes the answer Better understood You see through your prism This unblemished vision of her: Yours, until the vision grows Insensibly obscure But how are you to so impassively dismiss The frail intensity of that initial kiss-- The way you laid your hand upon her blushing face? You’re not ashamed to relish any lingering trace . . . . . . . . . If I speak in the tenderest terms Will you promise not to wince? I know that the pragmatist squirms At such unruly sentiments And maybe I’m useful Only for a few good laughs Near worthless when you’ve laid me out On charts and graphs But how am I to so impassively dismiss The frail intensity of that initial kiss-- The way you laid your hand upon my blushing face? I’m not ashamed to relish any lingering trace
7.
Should I presume upon you? Should I pester you to death? Should I call you in the midst of your day For nothing in particular Just to hear you when you speak In your restrained, familiar way? Is there a room inside you: A place where I could stay To lay my head, if only temporarily Knowing you are close-at-hand And that I’m not too much to carry? I’ve set up more impediments Than any soul could bear: They were exhausted when they walked away from me So, what is it costing you to Linger within reach And what is it that keeps you coming? Is there a room inside you: A place where I could stay To lay my head, if only temporarily Knowing you are close-at-hand And that I’m not too much to carry? I see you pass me by From the corner of my eye Only to vanish into thin air Will it ever be sufficient Just to know you’re existent For someone, somewhere? But in some alternate state There’s an open garden gate A passageway down which you’ll still be waiting And there’s a room inside you And there’s a room inside you And there’s a room inside you And there’s a room inside you
8.
Fortunate girls, on whom the stars shine For whom they realign In spectacular patterns Which I saw suddenly, clearly, once you stepped into view After every disaster, am I finally a fortunate girl, too? A fortunate girl… I never knew what I was made up of Until push came to shove And I stumbled to you Where I slipped shudderingly Out of a chloroform-haze Into the warmth of your invigorant-gaze And I saw suddenly, clearly, once you stepped into view After every disaster, am I finally a fortunate girl, too? You draw me outward, into focus You don’t notice my flaws, you don’t seem to wonder… Fortunate girls have hearts that still may break It would be a mistake To pretend they never do But the past began to vanish when you stepped into view After every disaster, at long last, I’m a fortunate girl, too

about

Conformateur is a song suite that reflects upon the pressures, expectations, and ambiguities of a single relationship. Musically, it is a rich mixture of Americana textures, thoughtfully crafted to support the precise vocals of frontwoman Lacie Williams.

credits

released October 1, 2016

Lacie Williams: Lead and Harmony Vocals, Melodica
Scott Swartz: Guitars, Pedal Steel, Lap Steel, Weissenborn,
Mandolin, Keyboards, Bass, Harmony Vocals
John Baldus: Drums, Percussion, Accordion, Wrench
Ezequiel Valguarnera: Bass

All Songs © 2015 L. Williams / S. Swartz (Filament Glow
Music ASCAP), except Tropical Depression © 2015
L. Williams (Filament Glow Music ASCAP)

Recorded and mixed by Scott Swartz at
Filament Glow Recording, St. Louis, MO
Art direction by Prairie Rehab
Images by K. Corea Photography

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