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Lilac & Grey

by Prairie Rehab

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1.
Square 03:13
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Nothing’s square In the house that you built: Not the window-frames Or the room we shared Not the stairs, spiraling to nowhere No, it’s perilous: the four walls are leaning The ceiling careens Threatening to fall on us, darling It’s falling already Nothing’s fair, So they like to tell you Nothing’s ever quite What you might have planned What was flawless drawn up on paper Is now perilous: the four walls are leaning The ceiling careens Threatening to fall on us, darling It’s falling already You wrote your note in pencil Which’ll fade Like the tensile-strength Of the life you’d made Out of wreckage From the scrapheap Everything you did you did on the cheap And it’s me here suffering the consequences And it’s perilous: the four walls are leaning The ceiling careens Threatening to fall on us, darling It’s falling already It’s falling already It’s falling already
2.
Lately 03:28
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Lately, I’m not so much coping As just hoping that I’ll wake up someday Feeling close to okay But the world is still so grey Tell me: Can you even hear me Out there beyond the breach Where the stars are crystalline clear? You know, they’re bleared and dismal down here: Fainter than ever But if I paint it rosy, then everyone can Look me in the eyes again Look me in the eyes and pretend That nothing has happened And if I paint it rosy, then everyone can Look me in the eyes again Look me in the eyes and pretend That nothing has happened And that everything is just pure perfection Moon-glow Filters through the window Milky-white and just lustrous enough To see me through another night Lately…Lately…Lately
3.
Evening 04:02
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When the earth lies still Tired of its rotation And its colors spill out: Scintillating, flashing brightly Splashed over the chiaroscuro twilight I’ll keep such pleasures to myself I’ll keep such pleasures to myself I’ll keep such pleasures to myself Little sylvan streams like Rivulets of splendor, Ebullient and rushing You could spoil it all by merely twitching So, then, hush now, darling We’ll keep such pleasures to ourselves We’ll keep such pleasures to ourselves We’ll keep such pleasures to ourselves And when the world spins wildly I’ll be hiding here where no one ever sees: In my golden reveries I’ll keep such pleasures to myself I’ll keep such pleasures to myself I’ll keep such pleasures to myself I’ll keep such pleasures to myself
4.
Solstice 03:43
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They’ve dyed your hair auburn But it was strawberry blond And how the girls fawned over it When we were young Like the gleaming Christina The very image of bliss Who’d stood in the cattails, shimmering Golden on the summer solstice: Remember? She’s alone in her loneliness She’s alone in her loneliness She’s alone in her loneliness Some are sending up signals And picking up signs From Ladies of Sundry Locations Through cell-towers and powerlines While I lie in the swelter, restless Sweat-drops, glistening Wondering what kind of gullible Fool would think there’s someone listening: Is someone listening? Are we alone in our loneliness? Are we alone in our loneliness? Are we alone in our loneliness? They’ve dyed your hair auburn But it was strawberry blond: Maybe you’re young again Maybe you’re nothing Maybe you’re just alone… …in your loneliness… Alone in your loneliness Alone in your loneliness Alone in your loneliness Alone in your loneliness
5.
Insouciance 03:16
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(Apologies to Robert Frost) Thirteen thousand roads diverged in a wood And I took none of them Instead, I dug a hole and slipped to the bottom Where the air is stale and thin, but comfortable You’d grown quiet and I was in a trance You could call it insouciance, I suppose But I heard the door slam, breaking the morning While my heart slept in Thirteen thousand roads diverged in a wood Thirteen thousand roads diverged in a wood Thirteen thousand roads diverged in a wood And I took none of them
6.
Angels, Perhaps 03:25
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Angels, perhaps, carried her away Into The Great Nothing Our poor Celeste, with her eyes blinded Never glimpsed a twilight sky Never felt the touch of human kindness The stars collapse, trembling at the sight Of all her earthly splendor Now coalesce in the moonless night Glimmering together Existent only for her pleasure When your soul’s crushed And your hopes might just unravel You’ve got to press on, press on quixotically: Darling, it’s the only way to travel When your soul’s crushed And your hopes might just unravel You’ve got to press on, press on quixotically You’ve got to press on, press on quixotically You’ve got to press on, press on, Darling The Heavens rhapsodize Their choirs crescendo The saints and martyrs leave their tireless repose To clamber down from their rose windows Angels, perhaps…Angels, perhaps Angels, perhaps…Angels, perhaps
7.
Mystery (I Guess) 02:52
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Leaves on the ground Ninety degrees: Eerily incongruous Shocking, really And it’s obvious: Something’s amiss But what it is, is A mystery, mystery, mystery I guess I guess…I guess…I guess…
8.
Lacebark 03:02
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If we could have stayed in the shade of the elm tree Where I laid my head on your shoulder Would the onerous weight that overwhelms me Have faded away? Will it ever fade away? You don’t seem to care that I’m just an imposter With a flimsy façade You don’t care that it’s cost you everything just to Keep me from falling apart—Won’t you keep me from falling apart? And I can’t explain Why the painful refrain Echoes still—why I’ve indulged it But what I know is I’m stopping now…I’m stopping now…I’m stopping now…
9.
Not Quite, Not Yet 04:28
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The metronomic pulse of blood through your veins Courses away nearly all that remains Of the toxins and dross until The dull ache of loss that’s gripped you Almost relents, ‘til you almost forget But not quite…not yet A gin-and-tonic stands, its condensate-beads Still dripping—but, really, who needs Another depressant, because Life’s enough, isn’t it, To leave us all wracked and spent? And one more confession ascends Into The Silence; but, then, The Silence is golden—golden, yes The metronomic pulse of blood through your veins Courses away nearly all that remains Of the toxins and dross until The dull ache of loss that’s gripped you Almost relents, ‘til you almost forget But not quite— Not quite…not yet
10.
Lilac & Grey 03:03
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Clouds roll in and cowed willows bend Like dowdy old women in Lilac and grey You said I was unfaithful But I was a wraith of a thing Wasting away I’d sworn to be true And tried to be good Oh, but everyone deserves to be understood Even me, even you And you said I was unfaithful But I was a wraith of a thing Wasting away… Wasting away… Wasting away… Clouds roll in and cowed willows bend

credits

released July 9, 2020

John Baldus: Drums
Christian Schaeffer: Keys
Scott Swartz: Guitars, Pedal Steel, Lap Steel, Synth
Ezequiel Valguarnera: Bass, Harmony Vocals
Lacie Williams: Vocals, Acoustic Guitar

Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Scott Swartz at Filament Glow Recording, St. Louis, MO

Coer Image: Redon, Odilon. Ophelia in the Blue Cloak on the Water. 1900-1905. Oil on paper. The Riiksmuseum, Amsterdam.

Photography by Julie McDonald

Art Direction by Scott Swartz and Lacie Williams

For Frank and Chris

© 2020 L. Williams / S. Swartz (Filament Glow Music ASCAP), except Lately, Mystery, Lacebark, Lilac & Grey © 2020 L. Williams (Filament Glow Music ASCAP)

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Prairie Rehab St Louis, Missouri

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